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The Martin Brundle Quotes Page

2000 Archive

Australia

"I think there's going to be a few Gallic tears here before we're very far into the season. Alesi runs on a reasonably short fuse, as I found out to my experience when I used to race against him."

"Well at the moment James Allen's winning the bet. He said he thought that Barrichello would get within a tenth or a tenth and a half of Michael Schumacher and I thought it wouldn't be quite as close as that."

"Verstappen sits too low in that car - he'd do well to sit a little bit higher. He'll struggle at less open circuits where he needs to pick up the apex a little bit earlier. Jos is not a short guy by any means and I don't really know why he chooses to sit so low in the car."

"Some people think I've been critical of Jenson in some things I've said but in fact I've been exactly the opposite, Murray. The kid has got enormous talent, there's no doubt about that, and I've expressed the view that that talent needs to be nurtured and developed and brought into the sport at the right time ... my instincts tell me that it's just a little bit too early for Jenson. I'm hoping my instincts will be wrong as the year goes on."

(On Irvine's new helmet design) "That absolutely amazes me, frankly. Your helmet colours are sacrosanct - you take them through blood, sweat and tears through your motor racing career, and to just suddenly change your helmet colours is very surprising to me, I have to say."
(I remember that when Martin went to McLaren he changed his helmet design. Does this mean the great Mr Brundle is starting to lose his memory? Perhaps he's been around Murray too long! - Simon Rush)

"[Villeneuve] does the old trick at the end of the next straight to get the gravel out by jumping on the brake pedal - and being the considerate man that he is, he did it off line."

"Michael is on one of his laps ... he's run wide, Murray - he went in way too fast and ran wide. He's having such an untidy afternoon - what on earth's the matter with Michael?"

"Hello Jim, hello everybody. Congratulations for getting up early or setting your video correctly."

"My tip [for the race] is the piano sitting here at the front of the grid - I've never seen that before!"

"I don't know whether anybody'll talk to me - I'll give it a try. If I was them, I wouldn't, I'll tell you now!"

Martin: "Mika? Are you interested to talk to me today?"
Hakkinen: "No!" (laughs)
Martin: "OK, good, so we'll carry on then."

Murray: "[Hakkinen] amazes me. You walk up to him, he's about to get in the car and start the Australian Grand Prix; you put a microphone in his face and he talks to you."
Martin: "Must be the vodka they have going through their veins up there in Finland."

"I can never understand that - why they don't bury the nose of their cars under the gearbox of the one in front - why they allow the re-start to take place without being as close as possible to the car in front."

"A fairly terminal engine failure for Coulthard. He's about as lucky as Johnny Herbert, isn't he?"

"I guess you never choose a Ferrari as a getaway car necessarily; it attracts too much attention."

"I wouldn't want to put any money on who's going to be on the podium this afternoon, Murray. There's still such a long way to go and so many dramas."

"Brilliant performance from Button, it has to be said. His pace was good - it didn't fade away as the race went on. He was mixing it with some more experienced drivers, and I have to say - a very, very impressive debut for Jenson Button."

"Did you catch a load of that, Murray? Schumacher well out of shape in the first corner. He's just having fun I think. I think he's just bored probably."

"First time we've seen Zonta looking like a Grand Prix driver, really."

"A walk in Albert Park for Michael Schumacher this afternoon. It was just so, so easy for Michael."


Brazil

"This pitlane entrance I think is terrifying. They've had several goes of getting a pitlane entry sorted out here and this is definitely the worst of them."

"I was in a gym the other day and Trulli came in. He is scarily fit that man. He is just demonic on the equipment, for hour after hour. Apparently he's twice a day in the gym, 10km run before he tests, and 10km at the end of the day for a jog."

"[Our screens are] a little bit smaller than yours. If we miss anything, which is incomprehensible, then do put it on a postcard care of Murray Walker at the BBC, won't you?"

Martin: "What is that - a pride of Jaguars? What do you call two jaguars or more?"
Murray: "I don't know. I don't call them a leopard, which is what Eddie Irvine called the thing that he had painted on his helmet!"

Murray: "Wake up! Wake up!"
Martin: "Somebody's had an all-nighter or two, by the look of it, fixing the Arrows cars."

"And another red flag, and we think it's another hoarding, yes it is. This is a joke, isn't it? Ironically, the team that has lost out the most are Ferrari and it's their very sponsor that is falling onto the race track."

"[The data is] what they're looking at there on the pitwall, somewhat unkindly referred to by the mechanics as the prat perch."

"This is a bit embarrassing - [Michael] can't get the radio plug out, look. He's going to have to take his helmet off to release himself from the car!"

(on the grid)
Martin: "DC, sorry to surprise you. Are you just undressing or dressing?"
David: "Now that you're here, undressing I guess!"
Martin: "How sweet of you!"

"They've all been complaining about these bumps on the pit straight, you know, but they can always lift the back of the car up as well, that is an option - they don't have to run them on the deck."

Murray: "But McLaren - if they can keep going of course - are going to close up on Ferrari in the Constructors Championship, a bit, because.... he's slowing!"
Martin: "Problem!"
Murray: "Into the pitlane comes the race leader Mika Hakkinen." (the Curse of Murray strikes again)

Murray: "[Hakkinen]'s got to hit that limiter and slow down to 80km/h..."
Martin: "I don't think he's got much slowing down to do, Murray."

Martin: "If this is confusing you, this is a montage of Rubens Barrichello from much earlier in the race. Quite why it's coming in there I can't tell you."
Murray: "I can - we're in Brazil!"

"Michael Schumacher's amazing. I happened to be on the same plane as him on the way home from Melbourne, and we sat chatting away about old times and all sorts of things. Over three hours we were talking about goodness knows what; he never once mentioned the race that he'd just won. It's just all boxed up, sorted out, on to the next one. It's just so under control for him."

Murray: "I don't know what they're showing us... the Public Relations man from the Mercedes team, climbing up the ladder there."
Martin: "I think it was the chap with the chequered flag wasn't it Murray?"
Murray: (laughing) "Oh, I apologise..." <Willem Bester>

Murray: "[Michael's] looking good now - just look at the body language of the car."
Martin: "I don't know which bit of the bodywork you're looking at there Murray!"
Murray: "Well, the whole stance of the car on the circuit. The speed he's going, the lines he's taking, look to me like he's in a good race winning position." <Mark Allen>

"There was some little drama going on in the middle of the race - maybe it was to give us all a bit more excitement - but now Michael's car is fully up to speed."


San Marino

"As a driver, you almost always forget the cameras are on board. Until of course you have a crash, and then the world's population sees your misdemeanour replayed scores of times to your total embarrassment. But the one to really watch out for is that one that looks back at you - remember not to pick your nose."

"In '96 I crashed my Jordan just here - don't do the same thing!" (walking round the track with Jarno Trulli)

"Well they're obviously not just good at Toblerones and cuckoo clocks down there in Switzerland - they've made a nice car that works well around this San Marino race track. We're nowhere near San Marino of course - that's 40 miles down the road - although this is called the San Marino Grand Prix we're in Imola."

Martin: "Hakkinen 007 - James Bond behind his current fastest pole position. Now let's watch out for Michael Schumacher. Please Mr TV Man pick up Michael Schumacher."
Murray: "There he is!"
Martin: "And he's gone down the pitlane!"

"Coulthard you saw getting in the car quite late. That's because he left his earplugs in the toilet, would you believe?"

"I just watched Michael Schumacher do a practise start at the end of the pitlane and there was virtually zero wheelspin as he took off. They really have got some clever electronics on these cars. And apparently and allegedly they're all going to disappear for Silverstone, the next Grand Prix."

"Coulthard's car is working better under braking than Barrichello's Ferrari, which would also suggest that Barrichello is carrying a bit more lard in his fuel tank."

"It's a strange thing, but when you follow a car like this for so long, you get mesmerised. You end up just matching your pace to the car in front. Sometimes you drop back and try and get out of that bad rhythm that you're into."

Martin: "I was just thinking: if he was an Englishman he'd be called Jack Newtown, wouldn't he? I don't know if they'd have named a chicane after him [then]."
Murray: "There's an interesting fact!"

"It's a horrible feeling when you're coming the other side of that pit wall and the man you're desperately trying to get track position on flashes past; it's so frustrating and disappointing, and that's exactly what Ralf Schumacher had to watch there, as Villeneuve swept through, into an effective [fifth] position."

"Zonta going off in Villeneuve. He's been looking like an accident looking for somewhere to happen for a few laps."

Martin: "I'm trying to work out the mathematics of all of that because he didn't just pip Hakkinen out of the pitlane did he? He was positively the pitstraight ahead of him - absolutely amazing."
Murray: "He's done what we've seen him do before - he was on a real flyer in that lap..."
Martin: "There's part of the answer - the 1:26.8 on his in-lap. So, Michael Schumacher there putting in one of his classic sprints when he most needs to, and didn't it make a huge difference?"

"It always amazes me how close the cars are. If you compare the McLaren and Ferrari, the philosophies - for example the Ferrari with the very, very high nose on it - and the detail through the car is so different; different teams, different drivers, different mentality of the teams, and yet there's nothing to choose between them 57 laps into this race."

"A new fastest lap there again for Mika Hakkinen. You're watching a Battle Royal between two supreme sportsmen, who are absolutely on top of their cars and on top of their sport. Absolutely thrilling stuff."

"Now's the time to drive out of this circuit, Murray. I haven't seen anybody leave their seats yet. The Ferrari fans, out there in the grandstands in front of us, just glued and waiting for the drivers to appear on the podium."

"Well it's a different face to yesterday, isn't it? Michael Schumacher after making a mistake in qualifying, had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. But today he made up for it."

"I tell you, you never look left in that situation. When the lollipop goes up you go. You have no visibility; if you looked in your mirrors all you'd see is all of your own mechanics. That was so close to being contact in the pitlane."

"Ross [Brawn] is right - if they touch, they're going to spin off. It is an issue, but quite how you fix it, I don't know, because the man on the lollipop can't be too polite - this is a motor race."

"The McLaren is the fastest car if it has Mika Hakkinen in it, but not David Coulthard in it." <Ken Cyrette>

"Another Prost is out. It must be Alesi because Heidfeld has already retired.
There are some extremely long faces in that Prost garage." <Ken Cyrette>


Britain

"Welcome to sunny Silverstone." (the weather was appalling at this point. Sunday turned out fine.)

Murray: "I was amazed at Monaco when you had a really nasty [crash] in the Tyrrell."
Martin: "I jumped in the spare car, my sixth sense got me back to the pits somehow - I was actually about 30% conscious, I think. Ken Tyrrell was my team boss, and he plugged into the radio and said 'You've got eight minutes left to qualify.' I said, 'That's great, no problem. Which way do I turn when I get out of the pits?' And that's when he realised I wasn't altogether with it."

"Becketts. It looks pretty much like your average roundabout on a town bypass - you select a lane and come down to second gear. In a Formula 1 car you're doing 170mph-plus in top gear and still accelerating."

"We're down at Stowe. I thought I'd show you the sea of gravel - it's more famous than the racetrack itself of recent times." ... "A short squirt into Brooklands. Now it feels painfully slow - a case of hurry up and wait."

"It's probably a bit cynical of me, but I still can't help feeling that [Barrichello]'s out there more often than not, or from time to time at least, doing some investigative work that helps Michael Schumacher's car."

(sarcastically) "And look at Patrick Head and Gerhard Berger jumping up and down with excitement at their provisional Pole Position."

"I think everybody's so surprised to see the sunshine, Murray, that they've all gone in and said 'What's going on here?'"

"Once again Alesi having to literally throw the Prost into a corner - that really does look evil that car, from time to time. But Alesi never seems to give up. 'Yahoo!' on the side there; I think that just about sums it up when he heads into a corner."

"Even Patrick Head says, 'I cannot look at another car, after 25 years of doing this, and say yes that's a lot of downforce, or yes that works.' The aerodynamic packages on these cars are a bit of voodoo from the outside without the data."

"Hakkinen put the squeeze on Michael Schumacher. Michael had the best of the starts, but then had to yield - that makes a change."

"We saw a bit of tag-wrestling off the start line, but right now we're simply watching a game of chess."

"Presumably it's vitamin C that they put in that Orange Arrows [at the pitstop] is it?"

"Irvine having stalled the engine or with a 'box full of neutrals, I'm not sure which. A 'box full of neutrals by the looks of it. Oh, he's found one." <Willem Bester>

"Well Coulthard's got only one choice if Hakkinen tries to come alongside him - just run him off the road." (Mika pushes against team wishes in the closing laps)


Spain

"The Jaguar in my view is the most beautiful car on the race track in Formula 1, but sadly is not the fastest at the moment."

"We used to do one minute seventeens around here when we had decent tyres and a decent amount of downforce and the cars were significantly more driveable than they are now."

"Thank you for that candid camera report there, Louise."

"A little drama but there's another toy they made earlier for him back in the garage." (Heidfeld's car fire)

"I thought we'd do a slightly different grid walk today and just have a little wander around and a poke about. I've had a bit of a hectic week actually, and I'm running on a short fuse, so if any of these prima donna racing drivers turn me down I might have a slap at them actually."

"Michael Schumacher was surrounded by 50, 60 people. Some interviewing him, some just trying to shake his hand. It's incredible really, before a major sporting event. I'm trying to imagine a footballer, taking a key penalty, having to put up with 40 or 50 people talking to him before he takes [it]."

"Don't you sometimes wonder who all these people are, on the grid? I do. One of these fine days, on a different grid walk, we'll stop a few of them and just try and find out what they're doing here and what they're trying to achieve."

"I've just been moved out of the way. Hello Bernard, how are you? I'm not even going to talk to [Bernie] today - can't be bothered."

"I would imagine Coulthard will be groaning for two reasons. Firstly he really doesn't need Ralf in front of him because the McLaren is a faster car. And secondly I know he's carrying a bag of ribs that are not really absolutely ready to do one of the toughest physical Grands Prix of the year."

"A little sip of milk for the pussy cat and a new set of tyres. Johnny Herbert, really again, not having a sparkling weekend."

"As I was saying earlier, I drove an old Formula 1 car in the week with wide track and slick tyres and I've been sure for some time that these narrow track grooved tyres are not the way to go; they're not exciting for the drivers. And I have to say it absolutely confirmed it for me to drive an older style Formula 1 car."

"Jenson taking a bit of a hiding in one or two of the British Press today. They've obviously very kindly decided that his honeymoon period is over, which is nice of them."

"Anybody following Ralf Schumacher today will have streaming eyes from all the burning tyre rubber smoke coming back towards them. His tyres must look like fifty-pence pieces when they take them off at the pitstops."

Murray: "...and Barrichello goes through - wow! Fantastic, fantastic! Barrichello takes both of them, Michael goes down to 5th place and Ralf Schumacher goes to 4th!"
Martin: "Just go through the morals of that. He had to shuffle his brother out of the way to let his team-mate through. What a terrible position to find yourself in. But Michael did it. He stuffed his brother, to help his team-mate."

"I'd love to be in the room when the two Schumacher brothers get together - they do tend to get together just after the race. That's going to be a very interesting conversation."

"There's always so many Finnish flags in the crowd - I don't know whether anyone actually lives in Finland anymore - they seem to be scattered around all the places we go to the Grands Prix."

"Eddie Irvine did his fastest lap of the race as he went over the start/finish line to complete the race, which always upsets the bosses, as they think you weren't trying hard enough earlier on."

"The man is thrust in to refuel Michael Schumacher's Ferrari, while he's leading a Grand Prix, leading the World Championship. He had one shot of getting a very heavy refuelling rig on square and we should all go and try it some time - I have done it once and it is not easy."

"What's frustrating for me is seeing all of those people, when they're following another Formula 1 car, and you think 'Have a go, for goodness sake; have a go - give Murray something to talk about.' And they seem to be holding station, then they get ahead and they disappear into the distance."


Europe

"It looks more like a rally car around here, that Benetton, than a Formula 1 car. They've been sliding around, tail hanging out, all through free practice and this morning's sessions too."

"Michael Schumacher, getting out of the car, looking pretty disgusted. It's raining quite hard now. Schumacher, not a happy bunny at all. I think he fully expected, and had the car, to be on Pole Position for this race."

"Willi took Michael at a very early stage of his racing career. Michael got 2000 DM per month and a Ford Escort to ride around in. It's moved on a bit since then, hasn't it?"

Murray: "It would be wonderful for David Coulthard, for McLaren and for Britain if he could get Pole Position, because he has yet to get one this year, and I have seldom been anything like as much impressed as I was by his dignity and fortitude in the face of enormous adversity at the British Grand Prix meeting two weeks ago."
Martin: "I was in Spain a few weeks ago, Murray. I think we were both there."
Murray: "Just making sure you were awake there, Martin. Glad you were."

"That's frustrating for [Heidfeld]. Having done not even a complete lap, he's got to go in and have the weight checked. If the car is found underweight in that check, he will be thrown out of the qualifying session." (and he was!)

"Twenty to thirty thousands pounds of damage, I reckon, for that little silly incident." (Alesi spins off)

"I remember standing nose to nose with [Alesi] in the pitlane once in Imola, and he said, 'I keel you, I will keeel you,' but we're best of friends these days."

"I think Coulthard should get out of the car now, go on the pitwall and light up a cigar or something, and look dead cool."

Martin: "Ferrari came to this, the sixth race of the year, with less points than they had last year. You perceive they've had a great season so far, [but] as a team they've got less points than they did last year. Michael Schumacher has a bigger lead in the Driver's Championship than he did last year, but he also came here leading the World Championship."
Murray: "You better watch it Martin - you're getting better on the anorakisms than I am."
Martin: "I wish I'd have brought my anorak to this race, that's for sure."

"When you're trolling along at 150 mph, the little sprinkling of rain that we feel walking around is streaming off of your visor, and it's very difficult to judge just how much rain is coming down, unless there is standing water."

Murray: "Now this race is going to be a commentator's nightmare from now on as cars pour in."
Martin: "I think it's going to be a commentator's dream, to be honest Murray, because we're going to see action all the way through the afternoon."

"I think Coulthard lost 5 seconds on the last lap, Murray. I think his problem is more than a few spare ribs in there that are not doing their job. So Coulthard carrying some kind of drama in the car."

"Well that was pretty gormless as well. [Zonta] just wandered into his pit, he's not in the centre of it at all, ran into the jack; I mean, just wake up!"

"Twenty-one starters, nine finishers. And to add insult to injury, they've got to stand on the podium and get even more wet."


Monaco

"The brake caliper must be made of aluminium - this weighs 9/10ths of nothing."

"Michael Schumacher with his new helmet colours. Apparently that's because he's got a new visor that enables him to see much better. It gives him a wider vision apparently, presumably that means so he can move across the road more often and block the others."

"Right now, Murray, the Germans once again have got their towels on the front of the grid, Schumacher and Frentzen."

"They've got another little wing on each side pod as well [as on the airbox]. They've certainly gone for the 'big and disgusting' route to get all of that downforce on the Williams."

"Normally we get a lot of movie stars here from the Cannes Film Festival but that's long over. Well I'm really shocked - I thought they just came because they loved Formula 1, but obviously not."

"I have to say, doing a grid walk on this grid just terrifies me, because every time I turn round, you can see absolutely nothing. I was hoping to talk to Ryan Giggs, but Eddie Jordan didn't want me to because a couple of years ago I said something along the lines of 'Ryan Giggs is the only thing in the Jordan team that can take a corner', which didn't go down very well. But I'd be pretty silly if I said that today, because they're going absolutely brilliantly. Trulli's just walked off the grid, presumably to go to the toilet."

"You've got the Ferrari sitting here on Pole of Michael Schumacher, look. That Ferrari looks the absolute" (pauses) "canine undercarriage." <Ian Alexander-Barnes>

"I know you'll die if you're second and third - I know that's not normally in your vocabulary." (to Ron Dennis on the grid)

"I think I saw, amazingly, a little man, wandering about over here. Here he is. Bernard."

Martin: "Well you flogged off half of Formula 1 but you're still sort of cruising around here like you own the place still!"
Bernie: "My WIFE sold, or the Trust sold, half, not me. I've got nothing. I'm just a poor guy trying to work."
Martin: "I need to know, cos my friends there," (indicating the camera) "they wanna know that we're talking to the absolute tip top people, you know, so you are The Man still, yeah?"
Bernie: "I'm making out I am even if I'm not."
Martin: "Yeah, well, we all do that."
Bernie: "That's what I was just gonna say - like you!"
Martin: "So you flogged off half of it. Which half's yours, then - the left hand side, the right, or just the front?"
Bernie: "I think it's ... I'm always on the right."
Martin: "You're always on the right, and IN the right, I've no doubt about that. I tell you what - I saw a car park over there that was so waterlogged, the people are coming in by boat. D'you think they'll get called in by the FIA for waterlogged car parks?"
Bernie: "Absolutely! I mean it's terrible, it's ALL water out there!"
Martin: "Yeah, shocking! I heard next year's British Grand Prix is gonna be between Christmas and New Year so the ground is nice and frozen, yeah?"
Bernie: "You have MORE lakes, you want MORE water, cos you know how to deal with it now, everybody knows how to deal with water!"
(Martin hands back to the studio)
Jim R.: "Two poor guys trying to earn a living down there!"

Martin: "Well the Italians call the spare car the Mulletto - the Mule, I guess. But I'm not quite sure why we all call it the T-car. I did know that once and I can't remember now."
Murray: "You would throw that one at me! It's 'training' - it's the training car, Martin."
Martin: "That's what it is. Sorry to drop that hot potato on you."
Murray: "I was ready for it actually, because somebody asked me exactly the same question yesterday. They also asked me why,... ahh, I won't tell you that."

(said completely straight-faced)
Murray: "Here they are running back. And in the lead is Pedro Diniz, behind him is Ricardo Zonta..."
Martin: "And he's going up the inside, look!"
Murray: "Yeah! And also out there is Nick Heidfeld, the Prost driver. Jenson Button is already home. Pedro Diniz, as you see, is across the track into the crowd. And now they've got to get back to the pit-lane."
(special mention must go to Jacques Villeneuve, who started the Monaco Grand Prix Marathon trend in qualifying, much to the delight of the crowd)

Martin: "Last time I can remember three starts to a Grand Prix, I caused both the re-starts, in 1987."
Murray: "I remember it well, Austria."
Martin: "I had a coming together with Eddie Cheever on the first one, and a suspension failure on the second one."
Murray: "I was saying to myself, 'What a hooligan that fellow Brundle is!'"
Martin: "I can't imagine what you used to say about me, Murray, when I couldn't hear you when I was down on the track - I dread to think!"

"Dream scenario for Michael. He's just enjoying himself. As far as he's concerned there's nobody else around this afternoon; it's a private test at the moment."

"It's very easy to take that decision to scamper across that no-mans land. There should be big spikes in there, it's too much of a soft option there."

"I can't help but watch Hakkinen and think that he's having another one of those days where he's just not that interested."

"Yes it looks like they've all had a meeting, and said 'How can we make this as easy as possible for Ferrari to win this race?', because it's just playing so much into Michael Schumacher's hands. He'll be grinning from ear to ear in the cockpit, at the moment. But as you've said many times before, Murray - anything can happen, and it often does."

"I think they're a bunch of wusses - we used to change gear 2,700 times around here and had blood pouring out of your hand at the end of the race, so it's made pretty easy for them in that respect."

"There were a lot of people in the paddock very disappointed with that situation where Michael Schumacher ran over [Nigel] Stepney, cos there's so many of us would like to run over him and he beat us to it!"

"Familiar sight isn't it, unfortunately. A Schumacher being stretchered off looking somewhat in pain with his leg."

Murray: "And there is Zonta's car being craned away."
Martin: "I used to hate driving underneath that."

Martin: "Well we've seen two Arrows in that wall in exactly the same situation today, haven't we?"
Murray: "Mark Webber stuffed one there yesterday in the F3000 race."
Martin: "Yes, it's the same colour scheme. There's a magnet in there for anything painted orange and black this weekend."

"It's going to be significant if [Villeneuve] gets lapped by Frentzen; the second Honda team lapping the works Honda team. And that will not go down at all well."

"I wish Michael Schumacher had broken down the day he beat me here, I have to say!"


Canada

"Because of my recent Le Mans 24-hour exploits, I haven't driven here since 1996. So join me for a lap of the circuit and see if we can remember which way it goes."

"Let's go back onboard with David Coulthard in the McLaren. A little left-hand kink out of the hairpin can be treacherous in wet conditions. Building up to top speed - over two hundred miles an hour. Not much for the driver to do - Coulthard probably just wondering where he's taking Heidi to dinner tonight."

"And so to the last chicane, and it's pretty tricky. This corner last year claimed three ex-Champions as they crashed into the wall on the exit. That's clearly where the World Champion magnet is placed."

Martin: "Jenson Button there installed in the Williams-BMW. I think that should be called a BMW-Williams actually, is the official title of that car..."
Murray: "Can I interrupt you there, because I had my corns trodden on over that. The team apparently, is entered as BMW-Williams, but we have to call it a Williams-BMW. Why, I don't know."
Martin: "We can call it what we like, can't we?"

Martin: "And there's Ralf, preparing..."
Murray: "Das motor hat, kaput die gengung."
Martin: (laughing) "Aaah, really?"

["Der Motor hat eine kaputte Gangschaltung"; "This engine has a broken" ...maybe "'gear-change' ?" - Daniela Tapper

"Das Motor hat kaput gegangen"; "The car/engine has broken", although I think Murray's grammar is wrong - it should be "Das motor sind kaput gegangen" - Andrew Cosstick]

Murray: "Well, let's have our little lottery, Martin. When's the first bloke coming out on the circuit? There's seven minutes gone now."
(silence)
Murray: "Come on!"
Martin: "Sorry, I was..."
Murray: "When's the first bloke coming out on the circuit?"
Martin: "Errr..."
Murray: "Two minutes? Five minutes?"
Martin: "I was just listening to an in-joke on my talkback here, from the studio. When's the first man coming out on the circuit?" (pauses) "It's going to be fourteen minutes past."

(time passes)

Murray: "Ah. And out goes the Prost. Fourteen minutes gone, forty-six minutes to go. And Martin is smirkingly pointing at the clock." (laughing) "Absolutely perfect forecast!"

Murray: "And off goes Mazzacane. He's slightly deranged things at the front, to put it mildly."
Martin: "It looks like Bambi, doesn't it?"

"Both Ferraris have arrived very, very late on to the grid. Michael seems to have a problem. Plenty of time there still to be kissing pretty girls and all that. Look at the smile on his face - he certainly seems happy with life at the moment. He seems incredibly relaxed, doesn't he?"

Martin: "Here's Coulthard. Let's have a quick word with Coulthard if we can. And he's talking to his engineer, so... Can we butt in David?"
David: "I was pretending to be working 'cos we could see you coming!"

Martin: "Ross [Brawn], are you absolutely clear what you want to do this afternoon? Are you satisfied you've got the right picture?"
Ross B.: "I think so, yes. Rain's predicted, so that might throw a bit of a spanner into it."
Martin: "You've heard that rain's predicted? That's the first I've heard of it, I have to say!"

"It's total justice. The rules are the rules. Even if I'm involved with Coulthard the facts are, if they've contravened the regulation they have to be penalised. Just because he's having a good race, you can't bend the rules when it suits you."

"Park it, Pedro. You're not going anywhere." (de la Rosa pulls off after Diniz crashes into him)

"McLaren are celebrating their 500th Grand Prix start today. I think it's one they may choose to forget. Right now Murray, it's looking very much a scarlet day, isn't it?"

"The track's beginning to resemble the boating lake on one side and the St Lawrence Seaway on the other."

"And that's Coulthard and Wurz off the track. Who can scamper back on first? Coulthard gets back on first. They've obviously had a 'right, I'm gonna brake when you brake' moment into turn one."

Martin: "Rubens has never won a Grand prix. It must be so tempting for him to go blatting past saying 'I'm terribly sorry but I just had to get that first win in.' If I'd have been Barrichello - knowing what I know now - I would have squeezed that throttle hard, won the race and taken a big run for the rent-a-car and got out of there before the Ferrari head honchos could get hold of me."
Murray: "After your last drive for Ferrari!"


France

"While we're down here, take a look at all of this green tarmac here. Now, if you make a mistake on the way in you can cut straight across, and it's too easy for the drivers in my view. It used to be gravel or grass - there was a penalty for making that mistake. Now they may as well put an arrow on the track and say 'short cut this way.'"

"This is a strange circuit, and I know a lot of the drivers down there are scratching their heads..." (literally a split second later the camera shot changes to Jarno Trulli, scratching the back of his head!)

"Eddie Jordan trying to steal our job there, James. By the way, I want to say a quick hello to Murray at home; hope you're feeling better today, Murray, and look forward to seeing you again soon."

"Presumably Coulthard must be in a car that's got 'Mika' written all over it. I'd be interested to know if they've managed to change all the stickers on his car. And he does indeed have 'Mika' written all over his car." (David takes to the spare McLaren in qualifying)

"A dream start for Ferrari. There will be a big grin on that square jaw of Michael Schumacher's when he looks in his mirrors to see a scarlet Ferrari. That is absolutely perfect for him."

"I think that was Heidfeld who tipped Alesi into a spin, his team-mate. That'll go down well. Jean's not too calm on those sorts of situations."

"'Yes, do that one more time,' he says; and well, other gestures. I'm pretty impressed that Coulthard's got the presence of mind to be thinking about that as he's going round the outside trying to take the lead of the French Grand Prix." (Coulthard gives Michael 'the finger' and 'coffee beans' signs as he tries to pass him)

"And that's Wurz trying the Trulli Trick. And look, that's a bit pathetic isn't it? That was smart stuff from Alesi. He saw him coming, turned out, and let him just stream through."

"This time David is gonna get up the inside, surely. Yes he is. I wouldn't wanna meet him this afternoon anywhere. Coulthard really in super aggressive mode. He wasn't satisfied at just passing him. He actually ran him off the road to make sure he had to get out of the throttle."

"As Murray would say, 'IF is F1 spelt backwards.'"

"I thought it was a bit over the top personally - 'Rab C Coulthard.'" <Mike McDermott>

"Well, as the man who negotiates David Coulthard's contracts I would like to claim the fifth amendment on that one." (regarding team orders)


Austria

(while interviewing Flavio Briatore, Eddie Jordan and Ron Dennis)
"So how often would teams bosses of Formula 1, talk, meet, over the telephone or whatever; and do you trust each other?"
(no-one responds)
"The silence is deafening."

"Well, I guess if Austria's gonna look green and beautiful, it has to rain from time to time."

"These get very, very hot, and of course they're positioned right underneath the driver's backside at some points of the plank, and they get very hot too."

"A good car always spins down the middle of the road." (Villeneuve recovers gracefully)

"Well, Johnny's chance to lead this team now for the weekend, with Eddie Irvine having produced a sick note."

"Looking at it from a Championship point of view, Hakkinen seems to be Bertie Basset around here - he's definitely hooked up, isn't he?"

"We saw them all looking at the sky, and you were wondering if they were looking at the rain. I think they were looking up there for a bit of help this afternoon." (Berger looks skyward as his drivers struggle)

"Here we are looking at The Sound of Music scenery waiting for Julie Andrews to come tripping out of the forest." (referring to the scenery in the background surrounding Pedro Diniz's spin in qualifying)
<Ken Cyrette>

(to Burti) "On your overalls, you've had to put a bit of gaffer tape. Didn't you have any with your name on? Are you using his seat? You might catch something nasty if you're sitting in Eddie's seat!"

"Excuse me Bernie, we're busy!" (Bernie tries to interfere as Martin speaks to Colin Jackson)

"We're gonna have to run a bit. Let's keep going. It's amazing how long the grid is, isn't it? I didn't realise it was quite so far down this grid!" (Martin jogs from the back to the front)

Martin: "Bryan, glad I caught up with you. Had to run to you. It seems like everything I do today is in a bit of a rush, but please forgive me." ... "The first time I went to a Grand Prix I thought I was going to go to Heaven." ... "These drivers are pretty reckless, but they don't give up do they?" ... "Thanks for talking to us, let's hope we can make it a race to remember."
Bryan Adams: "Yeah, when you're gone."

"The safety car is out - they're not red flagging it. Now Michael's stalled it. That's Michael pulling his car back onto the racing line, I wouldn't be at all surprised. He will want a red flag procedure so he can have a re-start."

"Frentzen just buried the throttle pedal to try and drive out of the gravel but ended up just digging himself the beginnings of a sandcastle."

"Zonta, look, just about getting hit on the head, and... well, there you go. It's catching isn't it? The damn thing nearly hit him on the head with the shovel of the tractor!" (Ricardo gives the marshal the F1 finger)

Murray: "And we've been looking at this bird in its nest for most of the weekend. As you can see, it's in the corner of the Ferrari garage."
Martin: "I'm amazed that he managed to get a pass out of Bernie Ecclestone to get in there!"

"Johnny Herbert in the worst possible place to finish a Grand Prix, and that's seventh."


Germany

"We're gonna see a topsy-turvy grid today, I'm sure. The Saturday lottery has arrived early."

"It's going to be a question of, 'If you pass go, collect a grid position.'"

"Schumacher's in the spare car, surely Murray. Barrichello may find an empty garage when he gets there."

"There's Coulthard, looking angelic - which is a bit of a laugh."

"Barrichello doesn't have a toy to play with, and it's raining outside."

"No pressure then, Murray. You're in Michael Schumacher's car, you're not on the grid yet, and you've got a few hundred million people watching you and you alone, going around on a treacherous track that's 50% dry, 50% wet."

"Well it was the bravery of David Coulthard in the early stages of the qualifying, but it was the brilliance of Schumacher at the end."

"The weather in Germany has been no better than for the British Grand Prix."

"I have to say Hockenheim in the rain; [well] you know how much I miss driving - it's one of the few days where I'd rather be up here cuddling you Murray, rather than on the grid or in a Formula 1 car. But don't take that the wrong way!"

"It sums up the whole weekend, with the umbrellas on the grid. One moment they were covering the drivers from spitting rain, and then it was beating down sunshine that the umbrellas were for."

"Those mechanics are brave in the pitlane, no doubt about it. Imagine just sitting down there with an air gun in your hand, and something's coming towards you at the best part of 70 mph."

"Strange message here on the computer look, Murray, I bet we'll never see that again - 'Man on track.'"

"Blown engine - big blown engine for Gene. Hopefully he hasn't left a lot of oil on the track - that'll sort 'em out, a nice emulsion of oil and water. That's an oil fire shortly afterwards, which clearly means the valves have had a chat with the pistons."

"The two BARs have been threatening to run into each other for some laps now, and finally they achieved it."

"Talk about damage limitation - certainly with Michael Schumacher out at the first corner, this is about the best Ferrari could have hoped for."

"Rubens Barrichello's waited a long time for that first win, but what a quality win when it came. Absolutely brilliant performance from 18th on the grid, through one of the weirdest Grands Prix you'll ever see - rain, shine, a man wandering over the track, safety cars - he kept his head."

"I've never seen a situation that's so cut and..." (laughs) "dried - excuse the pun - where one part of the circuit is absolutely wet and the other stays bone dry all through the duration"

"I guess we'll try and get this guy in as our studio guest at Budapest and find out what he's up to. There'll be a few people wondering if he was working for Ferrari, or something."


Hungary

"Well here's a track guide with a difference. We're joined by Johnny Herbert on a pair of scooters, as you can see, to have a look around this Hungaroring circuit."

Martin: "And if you get out [wide] there, you just have a pathetic spin. You get to a point of no return and you're guaranteed to go off the road, aren't you?"
Johnny: "We've all done it."
Martin: "We have all done it, many times."

Martin: "Have you ever arrived at any of the chicanes without thinking, 'Oh God, I'll never stop now, I'm much too late.'"
Johnny: "Martin, this year, thankfully not -- so far. But I'm sure it will happen some time this weekend."

"Now this [Turn 12] is a great corner, isn't it? You've gotta almost ignore the exit, do a bit of rallying, and just carry fantastic speed through here, don't you?"

"On the exhaust side, this is a manifold - in the trade known as a bunch of bananas."

"Now there's nothing permanently fixed to the car that enables the driver to fire up the engine. So, on the grid and in the pits, the mechanics are allowed to put this on the car - a battery driven starter. Looks a bit like something from Star Wars, doesn't it?" (Martin has a huge grin on his face as he fires it up)

"You're looking at Jenson Button there, also patiently waiting for the right time to go out. It's a question of who's going to blink first this weekend, I think."

"But what's surprised me most this weekend, Murray, is the difference between the front and the back of the grid. It's some three and a half seconds consistently. That's a country mile in Formula 1 terms."

"Look at Hakkinen's face, look at the actions he's making. He is not at all happy with that racing car."

"[Michael's] able to carry more speed into Turn 2, particularly, and get straight back on the throttle without having to wait and pause before he can hit the large pedal one more time."

"[Coulthard's] now down to four tenths away to Michael. It doesn't sound much - a blink of an eyelid - but it's so, so difficult to find."

"Well that's shuffled the pack, hasn't it? All of a sudden it's now Barrichello that's under pressure. Hakkinen's found a setup, found a clear lap, and it's Barrichello now who's on the third row of the grid."

"Hakkinen starting on the second row again if it stays as it is at the moment. But it didn't slow Hakkinen down too much in Hockenheim, did it? He soon took the lead before the first corner. A few cynics might say will Schumacher get through the first corner this time. He's only finished one race in the previous five Grands Prix."

Jim R.: "Hey Martin, I was in a lift last night and a bloke says to me, 'I know you, I know you. I'll get it in a minute. You're that Martin Brundle aren't you?'"
Martin: "If only I had your smooth, good looks Jim, I'd be away."

"Mika starts eight metres behind Michael Schumacher here in third place. I think the eight metres is the average length of a Grand Prix ego, so I can only assume that's how they managed to come up with that magical dimension."

"Let's see if we can find Rubens Barrichello. And he's already talking to [someone]. Can we talk to Rubens next? Yeah? Good stuff. After him? See we're live so we haven't got that much time, so can we sort of out-brake him into the first interview? He's live as well? He doesn't look very live, honestly. Are you live? Are you sure?"

"Chris Evans, here. Chris! We're looking for somebody to talk to. I know you're shy and retiring and don't like normally giving an opinion."

Martin: "So you're here with Jordan but you drive a Ferrari on the road like I do. Surely you want Ferrari to win today?"
C.Evans: "No I do not want Ferrari to win. I want Benson and Hedges Eddie Jordan team to win."
Martin: "I think I know who paid your air ticket out here at least today, now."
C.Evans: "And who paid yours, sir?"
Martin: "ITV paid mine, but I'm sure they'll get it back somehow, but.. Is Stephen Hendry around, I wanted to have a quick word with..."
C.Evans: "Stephen's here. Yeah, he's at the back of the queue."
Martin: "Is he? Cos we're having a job..."
C.Evans: "Back of the queue."
Martin: "He's at the back of the queue. That's a good pun. Good stuff. See you later on."

"Now we're going to get Barrichello. We're not going to have to queue up this time around. We're going straight in, OK? If I go down in flames on this one we're all in it together, OK? Oh no, there's somebody else there too!" (Martin waits and finally speaks to him)

"It's a great track. I hear a lot about it being Mickey Mouse, but most of the drivers really enjoy this racetrack. It's quite a challenge, it's never ceasing in terms of work-rate behind the wheel, and I think we've all had some exciting times around here."

Murray: "Incidentally, you coined the phrase for the Hungaroring, did you not Martin - 'just like Monaco without the houses.'"
Martin: "I think I probably did, and it's certainly how it feels."

"Hakkinen 1:20.895 - now he's on some kind of spectacular pace. That's absolutely amazing. That's more or less what he did in the warm up this morning on his best effort."

"Terrifying place to spin, where Johnny was. It was right on the racing line, just over the blind crest into Turn 1. You're looking over a little blind crest there, with Formula 1 cars hurtling towards you. Not a good place to be."

"Well Hakkinen's scored 32 points out of a possible 40 in the last four Grands Prix, Murray. That's pretty much what you'd call a World Championship charge, isn't it? And well, who can stop him? He leaps into the lead of the Championship with a performance that was just mesmerising."

"If Hakkinen ever wins this race in a Ferrari, you'll need ear-plugs to be in the crowd, not in the racing cars, because everybody outside in our grandstands have either got red caps on or they're waving the Finnish flag."

"Gene played a key role, really, in the race today. I don't think he was targeting Coulthard. I think he was just being a bit gormless frankly. I think it was not enough substance to soak up the echoes in the head there, temporarily. I think he was having a discussion of 'Why have I got to come in again?'"

"We used to have a situation where passing backmarkers was a key element, one of the skills. The blue flag system came in, and now everybody needs to be having the same advantages, or they should just switch the whole thing off and let the drivers demonstrate their prowess in passing the backmarkers."

"Coulthard here almost the mandatory distance behind that the aerodynamics dictate. That's what they've got to sort out - you can't just keep changing the racetracks; sort the aerodynamics out."

"Supreme driving all the way through the field today, and the pitstops were brilliant."

"Hakkinen's engineer's briefcase will be very heavy on the way home tonight, full of paperwork. He's going to write it all up tomorrow in a report that will go into the system. They hit the sweet-spot, and didn't he drive it beautifully?"


Belgium

"All fuel lines fitted to the car must guarantee, of course, not to spill fuel in the cockpit area. Ever the disbeliever, I decided to check this for myself back in 1996 when I rolled my Jordan into a ball. It broke like an egg, but not a drop of fuel spilt. The only liquid that escaped was from my drinks bottle."

"I remember saying this ever since I started this TV lark with you, Murray, three or four years ago, that Ferrari concentrate their testing in Fiorano and at Mugello, and they tend to avoid testing with other teams, by and large, especially over the winter. And I think it hurts them. I think they are too focused on those circuits, and then they turn up with the rest of the teams at Grands Prix and they always seem to be slightly surprised at how they are off the pace."

"It scares the life out of me watching a Formula 1 car through Eau Rouge. It looks much calmer inside the car than it does from outside."

"It breaks your heart around here because you've just started the lap - you're three or four seconds into the lap - and you've already made a mistake and you know you've got so far to go and you've gotta try and overdrive the rest of it to make up."

"Well easily the most evil handling car out there this morning was the Prost."

"Four people out there in serious trouble, really. Barrichello 8th, Coulthard 9th, Frentzen not in the race, Fisichella not even in a car at the moment."

"195 [mph] now again through the exit and throw out the anchors before the Bus Stop. Trying to hold onto the back of the car, [Frenzten] makes his own racetrack through the first part of the Bus Stop. Over the start and finish line; the drivers should have to pay for this privilege."

"Well I have to say it's the wrong call [starting under the safety car]. I know it's dangerous out there, I know it's terrifying; I've raced here many, many times in the rain. That first lap heading up to Les Combes you can't even see your own steering wheel sometimes. But we've started races here at Spa with five times more water on the track than they've got there. I really think this is an over-cautious call, this time."

"That was a replay of the start; a very boring start, you have to say."

"Bad mistake there from Jenson - he went the wrong way completely. He really snookered himself on that move." ... "Ralf is through, so really two or three terrible corners there from Jenson, finally showing his inexperience."

Murray: "And Ralf Schumacher is ahead of Jenson Button, unseen by us."
Martin: "No-no-no, we covered that one, Murray."

"Let's see if he feels the need again down the straight this time to wander over to the right-hand side - yes he does, look. And that's paying off. That's gained Michael Schumacher four or five seconds on his lead. He's so smart - he's thinking all the time. He needs less of his capacity to drive the car, leaves plenty spare to think what's going on around him and how he can maximise everything that's available to him."
(Michael cools off his dry tyres)

"Where they're standing with Jean Alesi's car, I wouldn't stand there for all the tea in china, thank you very much. The cars are coming in there at 200 miles an hour, and it's absolutely in the line of fire if there's any kind of problems."

"Michael defending the track, making his Ferrari as wide as he can. He then went round the outside of Zonta, and Hakkinen said 'thank you very much, I'll have a piece of that side of the race-track then,' and really took Michael by surprise. And can you imagine how much of a surprise Zonta had?"

"This is a dangerous sport - it says so on the back of the tickets, as Bernie Ecclestone will tell you - [but] that track you can see for yourselves does not need a safety car at all."

"When we were doing the track guide with Jock Clear, Villeneuve's engineer, he was saying to me Villeneuve has a lot of respect for Button, 'cos he's tough on the track but he plays fair as well. It's unusual for Jacques Villeneuve to say something positive about another driver, put it that way."


Italy

"Jenson, another 210 mph arrival, into the second chicane. It's another corner they've sort of mullered. What on earth have they done here?"

"The monocoque is thrown at a wall under test conditions, to make sure that in the event of a head-on accident, you don't end up wearing your steering."

"You have to get a good grid position - it's nearly as critical here as it is at a street circuit. You must get a good start and you must get through the first corner well and try and make up a few places at the same time. Then it's all about 'my tank is bigger than your tank', and see how far you can go thereafter."

"And I know you're sitting at home, thinking 'What's that clown Brundle on about? I barely saw a handful of leaves and I can't see any dust.' Believe me, when you're trying to slow a Formula 1 car down - as Villeneuve outbrakes himself into the first chicane - you saw it for yourself right there. You lose grip; it's barely visible of course but it's very tangible when you're behind the wheel."

"He's been a joy to watch this weekend, has Jenson Button. He is absolutely wringing the neck of that car. He's been all over the place, but on the racetrack - he has not been off. It looks like he's got a new raft of confidence since his performance at Spa, absolutely giving it one."

"Well the Ferraris have just swapped position on the front row of the grid, but I imagine the management will be pretty relieved about that at Ferrari, because they don't need the problem of negotiating Michael past Rubens Barrichello into the first corner. We saw what happened in Austria when they were trying to choreograph the run into the first corner - they both got hit from behind."

"Carol! Carol Vorderman here, fellow ITV over-worked, underpaid sort of person. I reckon even you couldn't get 22 into 1 into that first corner!"

Martin: "Bernie, what's going on? You've had enough time on our programme today already!"
Bernie: "This is Enzo Junior, his grandfather was Mr Ferrari."
Martin: "Enzo Ferrari's grandson here, on the grid. Do you speak English?"
Enzo Jr: "So-so."
Martin: "Have you been talking to Michael Schumacher? Can you win today with Ferrari?"
Enzo Jr: "eye 'ope."
Martin: "Good lad. Nice to meet you." (to the camera) "What a nice young man!"

"The cars will be absolutely brimmed up, as high as you can get them - and that's nothing to do with the French strike and lack of fuel here!"

"I've never seen that before - even the medical car was weaving and warming his tyres up."

"I think [the debris] will be a combination of leaves and stones - but much worse than that - of pieces of carbon fibre, which are very sharp and [will] easily cut a Formula One tyre. Of all the places in all the world you do not need a tyre exploding on you in Monza."

"I was about to say, the whole of the British hopes remain now on Jenson Button's shoulders this afternoon, because Herbert, Irvine and Coulthard out of the race, and Jenson got caught out there as Michael Schumacher was backing the pack up. Jenson a little unlucky, but one of the lessons you learn the painfully hard way."

"All of the drivers involved in the first two corner incidents have been called to the stewards after the event. But it will not be any surprise to any of them - you always have to stay at the track. I even left the circuit once to go to the airport and was dragged back to the racetrack, when Gerhard Berger ran into me in the Canadian Grand Prix. They actually hauled me out as I was checking in, and I had to go back and give my side of the story even though I was not at fault."

Murray: "And again Mazzacane, as he delayed Michael Schumacher, is delaying, delaying, delaying Mika Hakkinen, who gets through on the inside."
Martin: "Well, pathetic. I've used the same word of the same driver twice in the afternoon. What is he up to? It's not difficult to see here - long enough straights. It's not like there are blind corners and a lot of hedges in the way is there?"

"There's the sign that Hakkinen's about to see. You need binoculars here to see your pit-board, it's such a long way away from the side of the racetrack."

"We've had many retirements already - Coulthard, Frentzen, Barrichello and Trulli collided and then we had De La Rosa who barrel-rolled and then..LOOK THERE'S JENSON BUTTON OFF!" <Gary Cullen>


USA

"Jacques - you're used to going down here at 240 mph and not lifting the throttle into turn one. I bet you a hundred quid you never thought you'd be going over these start-line bricks, but going that way instead."

"The knock-on effect of those tight corners unfortunately has spoiled the fast corners. They're having to run so much downforce, so much wing angle, to give them grip on the infield, that it's made this, the last corner - turn 13, such an easy corner for the Grand Prix drivers. The American people can't understand it - the drivers are saying 'the banking is easy.' Well, IndyCars are doing another 100 kph - 60 mph - on the way through there, with a little tea tray of a rear wing for downforce, and look at the barn door on the back of that McLaren."

"Bobby Rahal said to me this morning that he's talking to one or two of the team bosses, so they can let him know where the landmines are buried in Formula 1. I said to him, 'take a very thick notebook with you.'"

"Michael taking a very long, smooth route around, high up on the nine degree banking there of turn 13, and that cost him actually, it cost him in the last sector. The others are sweeping down, using - if you saw the track guide from Jacques Villeneuve - using the slope to pick up speed, and there's quite a technique - whilst the drivers are finding it easily full throttle, eating their sandwiches and reading a newspaper - there does appear to still be a technique to using that nine degrees of banking."

"It seems almost more attractive to become a test driver for a better team, than an actual Grand Prix driver for a midfield team these days."

"Both Ferraris on the track at the same time; that's intentional, I'm sure. And I'm rather surprised we haven't seen more often teams using each other's cars to give them a slipstream down the straight. I wonder, I just wonder, if anyone will do that." (sure enough both Ferrari and McLaren use Martin's idea)

"The host broadcaster chose to watch Villeneuve doing donuts. They do like their donuts over here Murray, don't they?"

"Ambition got ahead of adhesion, and there [Ralf] goes with a little pirouette across the grass."

"So - seventh Pole Position of the year for Mike Schumacher, as they like to call him out here." ... "Diniz comes back on in front of Rubens Barrichello - or Ruby as they call him over here; I'm sure he'll be pleased with that one." (Murray also states later that Giancarlo Fisichella is being referred to as Gean-o)

"On board with Villeneuve pulling three and a half lateral-G through the banking. Even the camera's a little upset as it wobbles around." ... "Ready for turn 8 - down to 75 mph. Now you're into the Mickey Mouse part. Turn 9 - just 50 mph. Doesn't it just look, and feel, and sound pedestrian?" ... "Turn 11 - 80 mph. But after this, you will not lift the throttle again for about a mile."

"Hello everybody; hi y'all, as they might say out here."

"Look at the double-decker grandstands there. Everything's big in America, not least the grandstands."

"There's an F-14 just coming over[head], I mean like, just stay with us. US Air Force apparently - I hope you can still hear me." (Martin actually looks visibly frightened!)

Martin: "Sarah [Ferguson], could you have a quick word with ITV? What are you up to here?"
Sarah: "Yeaaah, of course. Well I'm a great supporter of Formula 1 - you might have seen me around a few times. In fact Ron Dennis' son is my godson, so I like to support that team."
Martin: "Good stuff. So you're hoping for a silver win today then, obviously. Coulthard or Hakkinen?"
Sarah: "Errrm, I dunno. I'm happy with a silver win."

Martin: "Bernard! You must be really proud of yourself, pulling this event together."
Bernie: "It's just like a Silverstone club race, isn't it?" (pauses) "Stop promoting Silverstone, please!"
Martin: "Well somebody's got to!"

Martin: "I've got a little prize for you."
Bernie: "It's not a prize, it was an investment I made."
Martin: "You didn't pay the stake!"
Bernie: "Take the stake out."
Martin: "We don't want to give you this, you didn't pay the stake. You can get home on this. You want to take this or not? It looks a bit dodgy."
(Bernie takes it)
Bernie: "Take the stake."
Martin: "That's very kind of you. Is this a tip? Tipping's a big thing out here, isn't it?"
Jim R.: "He took that money very sharply indeed, didn't he, Bernie."

Martin: "And look - Mika Hakkinen waving his arm. And maybe he doesn't realise - I mean it's the first time ever he's racing that Minardi for position."
Murray: "And Mazzacane is in third place, he's in a podium position! He's not going to give up - he should do of course! Now where are the blue flags?"
Martin: "No, there are no blue flags, Murray. He's in third. He should not have a blue flag. He is racing for position."
(Murray seems as confused about it as Hakkinen!)

"Diniz sailing across the grass where there's even less grip; Johnny says, 'thank you very much.'"

"That's Barrichello getting a good slipstream off of Diniz, and he should have the line into the first corner. He goes back for a second helping of tow, and catapults past Diniz. That was smart thinking there by Rubens." <cal>

"Ralf looks like he's been on a rally, doesn't he? Several of the cars out there looking a bit scruffy, and we're not even at the half-way point yet."

"I've crashed a couple of Tom Walkinshaw's cars, and it's not a pretty sight when you get back to the pits. He seems even wider and sterner than normal."

"This looks like a video game, doesn't it? Absolutely amazing."

Murray: "[This could] be [BAR's] first ever finish in a race with both their cars in the points."
Martin: "I hate to tell you, [but] Villeneuve and Zonta finished fourth and sixth in the very first race of the year, to give them a BAR-two-cars-in-the-top-six."

"What on earth is he doing? That's amazing. Michael Schumacher half asleep. That'll wake him up!"


Japan

"So - Mika vs. Michael. Who's going to win the World Championship, and why? In a Press Conference on Thursday Mika said 'I'm going to win. I'm going to brake three metres later into every corner.' Michael replied, 'Then I'll brake five metres later into every corner.' Mika's response to that - 'Well, then we'll see each other in the gravel trap.'"

"Virtually at the end of the lap, the chicane - or triangle, as they call it for some reason. Now should [Mika and Michael] get together and go across this particular gravel trap, they've got a pleasant surprise. It's been coated with a carpet of plastic grass - something certainly I've never seen before."

Murray: "I was trying to remember the last time I saw that black and white flag [for unsporting behaviour] - I think it was for Eddie Cheever in the Renault in France somewhere. Can you remember one more recent than that?"
Martin: "No I can't. I think I was still at school then, the bit you were talking about there Murray!"

"A bad day for Jordan so far. Trulli went off this morning on some oil put down by Pedro Diniz, and Frentzen was just plain slow, which is why he had a face like a wet Monday morning when we saw him on the screen, a minute or so ago."

"It's the most evocative sound isn't it, that Mercedes V10. The way the exhaust pipes exit from underneath the car, and the way they're joined together, makes the most amazing sound, it really does. And if you're into motor racing it really does make the hair on the back of your neck stand up."

"Mika a bit naughty there, Mika half-asleep. Either that or didn't want to go off the line, so completely trashed Jenson's lap."

"This is one of the best qualifying sessions I remember seeing in the commentary box. It's just been counterattack after counterattack. We're talking about trading thousandths for this Pole Position. This may as well be Pole or in the wall, Mika - just give it one."

"The star of the afternoon was my star of the morning, Jenson Button, up there in fifth place."

"I still think we only have one retirement in this race, which is Verstappen, who apparently lost two gears - rather careless of him, I'm sure they'll find them sometime later."

"Not much meat left on those tyres, look. Virtually down to slicks on two-thirds of the tyre there for Michael Schumacher."

"The first two appear to be connected by a tow-rope, somehow."

"I can see a National Holiday in Italy coming up at the end of this flying lap, if Michael Schumacher keeps it all pointing in the right direction."


Malaysia

"So all cars on the same tyres. Expect to see them using a very well worn fronts - and we're talking something like twenty laps sometimes - and brand spanking new rear tyres."

"[David and I] had dinner a couple of nights ago, and the pair of us spent the rest of the night with our heads over the sink. We picked up a food bug and David's really been struggling. It's easy enough standing here holding a microphone, but holding a steering wheel of a Formula 1 car in 39 degrees of heat and 55, 60 percent humidity here [is not easy], and I think he's been struggling. But his pace has been good - he did the first and second fastest laps this morning."

Murray: "David looking very chipper." (as he fiddles with his ear plugs)
Martin: "Yeah, it's always worrying if they drop inside your ear when you put those ear plugs in, you know. You have to fish them back out again, Murray."
(Murray pauses then starts laughing)
Martin: "I am joking! There's a void in there, most racing drivers have a void just the other side of the ears, and the ear plugs can actually fall all the way in sometimes."
Murray: "Sid Watkins, one of the world's top neurosurgeons, who looks after all the medical things for the FIA, said he recently had to do a brain-scan on a driver's head, and found nothing inside it, which didn't surprise him."

"Wurz is on a charge. This looks like yet another fast lap. Where on earth has he suddenly found this speed from, Murray? Wurz has not looked this good, probably for two years now."

Martin: "Your Brolly Dolly today looks particularly... stunning. I seem to recognise her from somewhere."
Johnny: "Yeeeeeh, well, it's nice having the missus here on the last race."
Martin: "Is it really Becky's first ever time on the grid?"
Johnny: "It is, yeeeeh."
Martin: "Incredible, she waited! Johnny, we've got a few seconds left, we've got to throw to a break. Have you ever fancied throwing to an ad break on TV?"
(Johnny takes the microphone and pushes Martin out of shot)
Johnny: "Well it's funny, that. I think I can step in here. I've got a lot of experience, Martin is doing well, but I think I could do a lot better."
Martin: "Well don't call us, we'll call you, Johnny! Have a great day. His sense of humour is intact!"

(Martin finishes talking about the current safety car situation)
Murray: "Funnily enough, it is in many ways worse to start and then stop and then start again, than it is to get a clean start right away."
Martin: "I'm not with you."
Murray: "Well I mean you've lost the momentum, you're prone, you're looking at the bloke on the left and then suddenly have to gather it all up and go."
Martin: "I see, you're talking about Hakkinen in particular rather than the start in general. I understand completely what you're saying now. Yes, often that puts you completely off your stroke, and you miss the second part of it." <Kevin Clarence>

"Well that all went West, didn't it, with Hakkinen's jump start. McLaren needed a 1-2 with no Ferrari better than fourth place; that I think is over."

"Michael Schumacher having a bit of a grin, really, putting a few manners on Rubens."

Martin: "Hakkinen frightened his way past Villeneuve, and you don't do that too easily to Jacques Villeneuve. A great move there from Hakkinen."
Murray: "Wake up on the left, there! This is a terrific race going on."
(A McLaren mechanic is lying down on the garage floor)

"In the pits comes Trulli, from a trulli awful day. Fifteenth position for his third pit-stop of the afternoon."

"What a terrible end to [Johnny Herbert's] Grand Prix career. That's not fair."

Murray: "I hope he's not going to put that red wig on! He is!" (laughing) "My gosh he has! Comment unnecessary?"
Martin: "Isn't it, 'I think I'm worth it', or something like that?"
(Murray guffaws. Michael has of course done adverts for L'Oreal)

"The pink bow is a bit worrying isn't it, in Jean Todt's wig, there. There's no significance apparently, according to James. Willi Weber being the only person to look better in the red wig than standard."

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Document Copyright 1997-2004 David Crick.
Last Updated: 07 July 2004